On a day not far distant from this one, after my work troubles fell into my dreams on too regular a basis, I asked the beings of light to guide me to the right course of action.
I dreamed of a beautiful little white house — bright, clean, sturdy — and over that sweet house a rainbow arc of fat healthy fish floated in a steady stream.
Fish have always been a personal dream symbol of faith, spirituality and creativity.
I felt that the the fish represented a flow that was continuous, never ending, dependable. In the past, in times when I have been stressed in dealing with things in the outside world, I have often dreamed of a passing a fish bowl. I will suddenly realize that I have neglected to give the fish fresh water. I stop what I am doing and pour in a big glass full of water.
It never takes much to restore the fishes environment to a healthy balance.
The rainbow stream of big fat fish over the beautiful white house, a twin symbol of my “self” and probably our fresh government, was greatly encouraging. It seemed a clear sign that I could pursue my creative life and trust that the work I needed would be there.
Then, ever the self-doubtful Thomas, I asked for another sign. In one week I got two commissions one of which more than doubled its original number.
I have been away from work for seven of my eleven day vacation. I wanted to take this time to pay attention to how I felt doing only my creative work in the mind set that I would never return to the day job.
It feels pretty damn good.
I fear losing the paycheck, however, I am on a sort of probation at work after going to HR about having been emotionally and spiritually sickened by a constantly aggressive, sour and belittling attitude from my boss.
I’ve always tried to do my best, keep my cool and all, but Iwill not accept rude, self-righteous behavior from anyone. We all run the risk of getting really far down a nasty path when we don’t take time for self-examination, if we don’t occassionally stop and see how our behavior is affecting others.
Plants, animals and small children thrive with encouragment, positive language, smiles and kindness.
Sentient beings fail to thrive when constantly in the presence of fear, anger, contempt and resentment.
We do need to regularly check ourselves before we wreck ourselves.
Having spent a lifetime with a foot planted in two different worlds, maybe in more ways than one, I have come to the simultaneous realization that:
a). It may always be that way.
b). My double lives may be attributable to lack of belief that I can bring my dreams into reality without crashing financially.
Joseph Campbell, a very wise man, said “Follow your bliss.”
In a ddition to the dragon project I’ve sold two plushy squids in the last two days:
And Squidopus the Curious